 well, I release you, he said uncertainly.
	Shiika blew out her breath and put a hand to her flat stomach.  Thank you! she said explosively.  Now then, she said, stepping up.
	Tarrin had no inkling that it was coming, so he didnt even try to dodge.  Shiika reared back and gave him one terrific slap, right across the face.  She was a Demon, so her slender arm had hidden strength lurking within it, which made his head snap to the side.  The sting only lasted the briefest of moments, and he turned his head back around to give her a surprised and not entirely friendly look.
	Thats for laughing at me, she told him with an embarrassed glare, her gaze glancing at Jenawalani, who was still laughing.  And dont do that to me again, she warned.
	But what did I do? he asked plaintively.  I dont understand what happened.
	You forced me to carry out my promise, she said with a short look.  I forgot that youre a god of duty.  The geas must be that aspect of your power.
	I, I can make people do what I tell them to do?
	No, you can force people to do what they promise in good faith to do, she answered with a flat glare at Jenawalani.  I meant it when I promised I wanted to be your friend, and that met the conditions.  It put a geas on me.  He gave her a blank look.  Geasa require that the target be willing, she explained.  You cant geas someone that lies when he makes the promise, or doesnt mean it, or makes it under coercion or duress.  I willingly made the promise.  You can figure out the rest yourself.
	I had no idea, he said in surprise, looking at her.
	I can see that now, she said, seeming to regain her composure, crossing her arms beneath her breasts and giving Jenawalani an evil, narrow-eyed stare.  Youre about five seconds away from being my throw rug, Wikuni, she said in an ugly tone.
	Leave her alone, Shiika, Tarrin told her, retracting the wings once again.  It was kind of funny.  At least afterwards.
	Maybe to you.
	Tarrin couldnt help but smile, but he was a little worried.  Hed had the wings retracted when she said that to him, he remembered that clearly.  He didnt even know he could do that, put that geas on people.  But, from the sound of it, it wasnt all that dangerous.  It wouldnt force someone to do what he wanted them to do unless they willingly agreed to do it.  In other words, it forced them to carry out a promise or agreed condition, like staying away from a certain area or something like that.
	Shiika was wrong.  He did have ability without having the wings out.
	How do I not do that to people? he asked in worry.
	You wanted me to be your friend, so you must have geased me subconsciously, she told him, then she gave him a roguish smile.  So.  I wanted it enough to get geased, you wanted it enough to geas me.  I take it that means were friends now?
	He gave her a look, then laughed helplessly.  I guess so, he agreed lightly.
	Good.  I hope you can do without that one, she said, pulling out a single hand and pointing it at Jenawalani, who was laughing again.
	Shes part of a set, Shiika, Tarrin told her.  If you kill her, you break up the collection.
	Youre no fun, she said in a dour tone as the mink continued to laugh.  Im going back to my room.  You, she said sharply, whipping a finger out and pointing it at Jenawalani, are on my list.  Dont make any long term plans.  Ill see you later, Tarrin.
	And with that, the Demoness turned around and sauntered out of Keritanimas apartment as if nothing at all had happened, leaving behind a group of uncertain and confused Wikuni and Vendari.  Two of them were hiding behind Tarrins favorite chair, the two raccoons, each peeking over the back of it with fearful eyes.  Rallix and Keritanima stood in the door of the nursery, Keritanima just behind her husband, leaning over his shoulder and watching the Demoness go.  Jervis was still sitting on the chair, looking like nothing was amiss, but the cup on the saucer he was holding was rattling audibly.
	My, that was, unique, Jervis said nervously, his trembling hand setting the cup and saucer on the tea table.
	Welcome to another average day in service to Her Majesty, Amber told the two twin raccoon Wikuni sharply, going to fetch a broom to clean up the jagged chunks of masonry and dust littering the floor.  After dealing with Tarrin for so long, and also because she was one of Keritanimas longest-serving maids, Amber had quite a tolerance for the amazing and magical events that surrounded Keritanima-Chan Eram.
	If she thinks Im going to let her get away with this, shes got another thing coming, Keritanima said darkly.
	For threatening Jenawalani? Rallix asked her.
	No, for breaking the wall, she answered, reaching over her husbands shoulder and pointing a finger towards the door.  Tarrin felt her weave a spell that reassembled damaged objects, which caused all the debris on the floor to lift up and swarm back towards the shattered entranceway, reassembling themselves into the door and the wall that surrounded it.
	Shes not going to, to, Jenawalani said after recovering herself, drawing a finger across her neck meaningfully.
	He shook his head.  She wont kill you, Tarrin told her evenly.  I told her not to.  But that doesnt mean she wont find a way to pay you back for laughing at her, Jen.  Id watch my back for a few months if I were you.  Shiika has a very creative imagination, and shes got a mean streak wider than the Sea of Storms.
	Like I really needed to know that, she grunted, but then she laughed again.  But the crime was definitely worth the punishment.
	Tarrin chuckled.  Id have to agree with you.  She was so mad it was funny.
	Amber came back from the small closet where they kept their cleaning tools holding a broom and a dustpan, looked around, and then growled and turned around and marched back.  She returned without them a moment later, smoothing the apron on over her black wool dress.  That was rather brave of you, Amber, Tarrin said with respect as she neared him, looking at the twin raccoon Wikuni who were still hiding behind the chair.
	Ive been serving her Majesty long enough not to be frightened by little things anymore, your Highness, she replied levelly.  After all, Ive been your page for years now.  Dont you think that makes that little more than a curiosity? she asked, motioning at the door with both arms, where Shiika had gone.
	Tarrin looked at Keritanima, and she shrugged.  Id have to side with Amber on that one, brother, she said honestly.  He gave her a cool, almost tart look, and then they both suddenly burst out laughing.

	Spending the evening with Keritanima had certainly lightened his mood.  His sisters and Sarraya were the only ones that could really make him laugh when he was brooding--though Shiika had done a good job of it--and that was why he often wanted to be around them whenever he was feeling pensive or moody.  Keritanimas sly wit, Allias dry humor, or Sarrayas cutting barbs and hijinks always seemed to make him feel better for some reason, even when he was the object of the Faeries verbal assault.  He knew that she didnt mean it, and quite honestly, much of the time she was rather amusing.
	But the time with her wasnt completely wasted.  He had managed to work out a few troubling issues, and had reached a few conclusions, and Shiikas interruption had been both educational and quite funny.  Hed learned that not all his power was tied up in his wings, and at least it was a power that he didnt mind all that much.  It was harmless, it wouldnt do any damage, and it required that everyone involved be willing in order for it to work.
	It was the fire.  Before he destroyed Val, he had become a god, and taken on aspects, spheres of control and influence, and fire was only one of them.  He had also been a god of protection, duty, and to a minor extent, given why he had used the Firestaff, revenge.  He had become a god to protect his family, because he had a duty to keep it out of Vals hands at any cost, and quite honestly, because he wanted to kill Val, and becoming a god was the only way that that was going to happen.  The aspects of duty, protection, and revenge reflected the reasons why he had turned himself into a god, but the aspect of fire was the energy or force that was most harmonious with his very being.  That was what Mother had told him about what had happened.  Fire was a destructive force, powerful, volatile, and unpredictable, but it also renewed in its wake and granted warmth and light.  It was a destructive force when uncontrolled, but a constructive force when managed properly.  That was a fair description of Tarrins core personality, and that was probably why fire had become his primary aspect.
	The wings of fire were so visible, so obvious, that it dominated everyones thoughts.  Nobody had even considered the idea that he might have abilities that reflected his other aspects.  This ability to place geasa on people was most certainly an aspect of his former status as a god of duty.  That meant that, if this worked the way he thought it did, he had to have a power dealing with his aspect of protection.  But what that was and how it worked, he had no idea.
	Not that he really wanted to find out.  He was still afraid of his power, even if certain parts of it seemed harmless, or gave him the ability to fly.
	Still, though, spending some time with Keritanima had uplifted him, and he felt quite good about the whole world when he returned to his own apartments with Forge and Fireflash.  He felt quite content as he played with his children for a while, feeling quite normal, had a nice long talk with Triana and Sapphire as they interrogated him about the wings and his capabilities, then spent a little quality time with Kimmie and Jula as they watched Forge chase Tara around and drive the Were-cat cub crazy by absolutely refusing to let her get into trouble.  Then, after that, he spent a very nice night with Jesmind.
	It was that early morning when she finally seemed to start opening up about his wings and the changes in him.  It was well before the sunrise that he found himself laying on his belly with her splayed halfway on his back, tracing the border between skin and flesh and living fire with her finger.  It felt very weird when she did that, but he remained still and allowed her to explore this change in him, to come to understand it.
	What does it feel like? she asked finally, prodding at the living fire, the fire-flesh lurking within the pit burned into his back, a hole in his flesh that was replaced by the living fire.
	Its hard to explain, he answered with a yawn.  Its like the rest of me.  I can feel it when you do that, he warned when she extended her claw and poked it into the fire curiously.  It bent a little, but did not allow her claw to pierce its surface.  Soft yet strong, pliable but unyielding, that was the nature of that strange living fire, that fire-made-flesh that lurked within the holes burned into his back.
	Does it hurt?
	No, not really, he answered.  I can feel sensation in it, but I havent felt any pain yet.  I really dont know if they can.
	If you can feel me touch it, then it can feel pain, she reasoned in a logical voice.  Maybe I just cant hurt it.
	Thats possible, he agreed.
	Well, if its a part of you, then its a part of you, she said easily, rubbing the pad of her palm against the fire-flesh.  I was worried about it at first, but not so much anymore.  She slithered on top of his back, laying her arms across his shoulders, and the way they felt told him that she was propping her chin on her arms.  Ive been thinking, she announced.
	Uh oh.  Should I run now? he asked.
	She slapped him on the back of his calves with her tail, hard enough for it to sting.  Ow! he hissed.
	Dont make me claw you up, Tarrin, she warned, digging her claws into his shoulder.
	I was just joking, he told her.  It was a weird night last night, it put me in a funny mood.
	I noticed.
	What were you thinking about?
	About you, and me, and what happened to you, she told him.  I want to know why youre blowing off Phandebrass, love.  Why wont you let him help you?
	Because I dont want to blow up Wikuna, he replied bluntly.
	She stifled a giggle.  Theres more there to it than that, my mate.  I can see it in your eyes every time Phandebrass comes around.  You dont want him to help you.  I think you dont want to do it at all, and thats wrong.  This is a part of you now, Tarrin.  You have to understand it, because if you dont, its not going to be healthy for you.
	Its not that-- he began, but she cut him off, scooting up his back.  He looked up as her face came into view over his head, and she looked down at him with a sober expression.
	Remember what happened when you when you became Were, Tarrin?  You tried to ignore what you were, and it cost you.  Im not saying that this is going to drive you crazy, but it cant be good for you.  And its not like you to be afraid of anything, my mate.  Now tell me, whats troubling you?
	He sighed, realizing that he should have expected Jesmind to see through to the heart of the matter.  She knew him very, very well.  He turned, getting her off his back, and then laid there on his side facing her and explained what he was feeling, explained his fears, in a way that he hadnt been able to do with anyone else.  She listened to him attentively, letting him explain everything without questioning him or interrupting him, holding onto his paw to comfort him and provide him with a tactile sense of support as he struggled to put into words the very complicated and intangible forces that wore at him mind.  When he was finished, she was quiet for a long moment, then she gave him a reproachful look.
	Thats silly, she announced, which made him start a little bit.  Afraid learning how this new power works will make you drift away from us?  Tarrin, thats totally ridiculous!
	I dont think so.
	Youre not thinking, you big oaf! she told him.  Did learning Sorcery make you drift away from everyone?  Did learning Druidic magic?
	Thats not the same.
	It is the same! she said with surprising vehemence.  Do you think I care that youre half god?  Do you think that anything you are or will be is going to matter to me?  Youre my mate, and I love you!  That love doesnt come with conditions!
	But what if I change--
	You have to change! she told him.  You need to learn how to deal with this, and thats going to change you a little bit.  We all know that, my mate.  Youve changed a great deal since we first met, Tarrin, but that hasnt made you drift away.
	When we first met, we were trying to kill each other, he winked.
	Not so, love, she said with a waggling finger.  When we first met, I started teaching you about our kind, and then you lied to me and cut that bridge to separate us.  But the point is that you dealt with the change without letting it take you away from us.  You just have to do that again.
	Im not entirely sure if thats possible, he sighed.
	Do you want to drift away?
	No!
	Then its possible, she said with surprising logic.  Its all up to you, Tarrin.  If you dont want to drift away, then dont let it happen.  And no matter what you are, or what you become, Im still going to love you.
	Yeah, just like you loved me when I was human, he teased with a smile.
	She blushed.  Well, I acted that way because I did love you, she countered.  But youre still here.  And so am I.  Just remember that, Tarrin, any time you feel like you are drifting away.  Ill always be here.  Ill always be your anchor to the mortal world, and I will always love you, no matter what.  Remember that.
	Touched beyond words, he reached out and put his paw on her cheek.   She put her paw over it and smiled gently at him, sharing a moment where words were unnecessary.  It was times like this when he felt Jesmind was such a treasure.  She cupped the back of his paw, the slid her paw up onto his wrist, playing with his fetlock, and then slowly traced her paw up his arm.  Now that Ive done something for you, you can do something for me, she said in a sultry tone, a naughty smile creeping onto her lips.
	Oh?  And just what might that be? he asked.
	She hooked her paw around his shoulder and used it to pull herself up against him, curling her tail over his waist, then wrapping it around his own quite sensually.
	Well, I think I might be able to do something along those lines for you, he told her with a slight smile.  Want me to scratch you behind the ears while Im at it?
	Mee-yow, baby, she purred, then leaned in and kissed him quite seriously.

	Jesmind amazed him quite a bit more often that he was willing to admit.  She was so easy to underestimate, because she was so ruled by her instincts.  But when the cards were put on the table, people who didnt think she was all that smart found themselves quickly and thoroughly disabused of that notion.   Though she was cranky and short-tempered much of the time, that was because she was so strongly dominated by her Cat instincts, much more so than most other Were-cats.  She didnt often talk about more involved or intellectual subjects, not because she didnt understand them, but because they really didnt mean anything to her.  She didnt have much interest in magic or science or theology or philosophy, and thus didnt come across as a very smart person.   She spoke plainly, spoke her mind, didnt lie, and had a very simple, frank, almost childishly simple view of the world, a world of black and white, right and wrong, good and evil, with very little falling outside one of those two classifications.  She was direct, blunt, and though she had an extensive vocabulary, she tended to repeat favored words rather than use more descriptive terms and leaving it up to her listener to puzzle out her exact meaning. Someone who knew Jesmind could do just that, by matching up her words with her scent, body language, and general demeanor.  But to someone who lacked that understanding, Jesmind came across as a country bumpkin, uneducated and rather crude.
	They would never understand just how wrong they were.
	Jesmind was an amazingly complicated woman, a riot of instincts and deep personality traits that gave her that maddeningly simple presentation to the world while the mind of an intelligent, cunning woman lurked behind that inconspicuous shell.  Tarrin knew her as well as she knew herself, so he knew that she had the capability to be quite profound.  It was just when she unleashed that against him, managing to break down seemingly overwhelming problems into simple, almost stark terms and making him feel overwhelmingly stupid for not seeing it as simply as she did, that he had to remind himself about the rather amazing mind lurking behind that pretty face.  Jesmind had taken an outrageously complex problem in him mind and boiled it down into one simple question, one simple decision.  Yes, or no.  Allow it, or dont allow it.  Allow himself to drift away, or force himself not to.  It really did come down to that, after all the tangles hanging off the ball of string were clipped away.  Despite how complicated it looked to him before, Jesmind had reminded him that everything else was just a distraction, extraneous, unnecessary, and all he had to do was focus on that one simple core question.  Was he going to allow himself to drift away?
	The answer to that was an emphatic No.  If he didnt allow himself to drift away from his friends and family, they wouldnt allow him to drift away from the mortal world.  They would indeed be his anchors, his lifelines back to the life that was once his, a life that he really could take up again if he so desired.  Jesminds swift and effortless shattering of the mirrors that kept confusing him as he tried to work through the change in him and what it meant had freed him of much of his fear and worry over it all, for she was completely correct.
	So long as he clung to his family and his friends, he would not drift away from the mortal world, and thus not drift away from his family.
	That was a comforting thought.  It was so comforting, in fact, that he looked upon the upcoming need to learn how his power worked with a little bit of actual enthusiasm.  It didnt seem half as intimidating or as frightening as it had the day before.  He knew that that opinion might change, but it that was how he felt right now, and now was the only thing that mattered to a Were-cat.
	Hed thought of that once before, but to hear Jesmind say it brought it back to him with a great deal more force, made it much less of a self-conceived ideal and more of an actual alternative.  That someone else had reached the same conclusion made it seem to him that it was more possible.  It wasnt going to be easy, but he was going to try.  After all, he didnt really have much of a choice.  Just like what happened with him being turned, he now had to quickly come to terms with a drastic alteration of his life.
	That morning marked the first of these challenges.  After getting up and getting dressed, Amber came to him and told him that Keritanima wanted everyone to get together and have a good breakfast before they left.  This would be a public breakfast, served in the throne room on tables set up within it, like when she had feasts, and most of the nobles, the citys mayor, and some of the commoners that served in Parliament were going to be invited.   It was an official function, a formal farewell of the non-Wikuni Prince and Princess and a chance for any important Wikuni to have a chance to see them and come to the understanding that they were Royalty, so as not to cause any friction with them at a later time.
	Tarrin wasnt too excited about the idea, but he realized that it was an opportunity to test his resolve, and that resolve was to come to grips with the change in him.  Since people in Suld had seen him, the stories and rumors of what had happened were going to reach Wikuni, if they werent here already, so this was a chance to openly display himself to the world and see how the world reacted.
	It sounded like quite a good idea, at least up until the execution of it.  Tarrin had sent everyone else down to breakfast, and had stood in front of the door of his apartment for a significant amount of time as the debate raged within, and the fear of it battled with the need to make it known, to allow it to be seen, or the myth of what happened was going to take hold and blow everything way out of proportion.  He had to establish it in the minds of the people before rumor made them draw their own conclusions.
	Should he do it?  If he did, there would be no going back.  People would see, would knowbut if he didnt, they would know anyway, and what they thought they knew might be far, far from the truth.  Not that he was going to tell them the truth, but their vision of him and his power might be totally different than the image that he had to create, that of a benign power, not a rampaging destructive force.  They didnt have to know the truth of his condition to understand an effect of it, and that that effect didnt make him a monster.
	Monster.  He such a history with that term.  He had fought so hard to try to not turn into the monster he knew was lurking within, only to find that his attempts to avoid it had caused him to become exactly what he had fought so long to avoid becoming.  He had been a monster of the worst sort, the kind that would kill and destroy and not show any emotion at all.  When Goblinoids revelled in their destruction and murder, people could understand it.  It made them fear them, but they understood the reaction.  But back then, when Tarrin killed or destroyed, it was as if it meant absolutely nothing to himand that was more terrifying than any kind of pleasured reaction a Goblinoid would have.  That was cold, ruthless, calculating evil, exactly the way Kravon had acted when he sent Jegojah after his sister, when he had sent Jula to Dala Yar Arak to cause Tarrin problems and slow him down in his search for the Book of Ages.  He and Kravon had actually been two sides of the same coin back then, both cold, ruthless bastards who would kill or or destroy anything that got in their way.  But the Goddess had sent him into the desert, FaraNae had worked her magic on him to show him the true path once again, to help him reconcile the hurt and the betrayal he had suffered and again achieve a balance of sorts that eased the extreme extent of his feral nature.  FaraNae had healed a tortured mind and soul, and for that he would be forever grateful.
	But it still wasnt easy to even think about it.  To step through that door to him would be to admit to himself what he was and admit the truth it represented, and those were things he did not want to do.  He looked forward to exploring his capabilities, but that would be in the presence of his friends, where they would be there to remind him who he was and what they meant to him.  But here, now, alone, he found himselfafraid.  Just like in the desert, when he was right there and had the opportunity to try to fly, but he didnt.  He had created that fire over his paw, though.  Perhaps, in his mind, that was a little thing, where doing something like flying would be a major admission.
	He found himself afraid.  Not afraid of what others would think of him, but afraid of what he would think of himself.
	To admit fear was only smart, his mother would have told him.  But to let it rule him would be the cowards excuse.  The bravest men in the world werent the ones with no fear, they were the ones who could act despite their fear.  The door represented that fear inside of him, and to step through it with the wings out for everyone to see would be the bravest thing he had ever done, for one simple reason.  He had faced some terrifying things in his life, and he had rose to the challenge, but each and every time, he was always acting out of fear for others.  He had faced Jegojah alone to protect his friends.  He had fought the battle of Suld to protect the Goddess.  He had fought the dragon out of fear of those who would die after him if he failed.  And he had turned himself into a god and sacrificed himself to protect his daughter.  But this time, this act, this event, it had nothing to do with anything other than him.  There was no one to protect this time, no friends or family to watch over, no fear of anything other than the fear that came from within and was directed no further than at himself.  There was no one to hide behind this time.
	There was only himself.
	Was he going to let himself drift away?
	No, he said quite adamantly as the wings seared through his vest and bloomed out to their full, normal size.  I will not, he told himself as he put his paw on the handle, shivering his tail and folding the wings behind him.  I will hold the rope that anchors me.  I will not let go, he chanted to himself, then he blew out his breath and opened the door.
	And he found himself almost paralyzed with the fear of the idea of stepping through it.
	I am who I am, he told himself in a quiet, serious voice.  I am who I choose to be.  I can be who I want to be, no matter what happens to me.
	The open doorway remained before him, mocking him with its yawning mouth, almost seeming to laugh at him.
	I am who I choose to be, he said in a defiant tone, bringing an image of Jesmind to mind, of her laying on the bed on her side, paw propping up her head, looking at him and uttering those words that seemed to echo within his mind, his very soul.
	Ill always be your anchor to the mortal world, and I will always love you, no matter what.
	With a grim, steely expression, Tarrin lifted his foot of the floor and pushed it into that mocking portal, then forced himself across the threshhold.  Where there was no turning back from the path he had just set for himself.

	Unseen to him, unseen to all in the mortal world, hidden from them--and him--by magicks both so powerful that they could turn aside the notice of a god and the subtlety to prevent the power behind it from drawing notice, five ghostly images watched the winged figure wrestle with his fear, then spit in its face and deliberately put his foot on the path he had chosen for himself.  Four of these spectral visages were decidedly feminine, the fifth overwhelmingly male.  Two of them seemed to dwarf the other three in every manner possible even while all five seemed curiously consistent.
	I see you still have sway over him, sister, the one known as Niami seemed to communicate, though she used no words.
	His mind is deep and complex, but I know its paths well, the one addressed answered, who was known as FaraNae.  Fortune smiled on me.  He was so distracted by the passion of his mate that it allowed me to touch his mind unawares.  When he gains more experience, I think, I will not be able to do it again without him sensing it.
	I find that more than acceptable, the male force declared.  He was known as Karas.  I do not like the idea that we can manipulate him.  Vykar would try to do so to wreak greater destruction.
	That is why it goes no further than us, the second overwhelming force ordered.  She was known as Ahiriya, and she commanded the other four through both custom and protocol.  But in this one case, I can find contentment in your urging, FaraNae.  He needed a kick to his pants to get him going.  He can be stubborn as a mule.
	Im fully aware of that, sister, Niami offered with amusement.  What do you see for him, sister? she asked the fifth divine force curiously.
	The winds of possibility are changing, this fifth entity answered, who was known as Kikkalli, and was the only god of them all who could read the lines of probability of what might be and predict likely outcomes.  In the short term, they are very jumbled, but the long term is focusing into one of two outcomes.  Which could change, of course, she reminded them.  The likelihood of them depend on what he does in the near future.
	What do you see? Karas asked.
	One path leads to his destruction, she answered him, then became silent.
	What of the other? Ahiriya pressed.
	That pathleads to our destruction, she replied with worried eyes.
	Bah, Ahiriya related shortly.  The visions of next year are too far ahead to matter